Distress Tolerance or "Don't Do It!"

By TinaMarie Cerreta



(DIALECTICAL BEHAVIOR THERAPY: The term "dialectical" simply means bringing together two opposing ideas—specifically, accepting your reality exactly as it is in the present moment, while also working hard to change your behavior to build a better life.)[1, 2, 3, 4, 5]


DISTRESS TOLERANCE is the ability to manage and withstand intense negative emotions or physical discomfort without making the situation worse. It is about accepting reality as it is and enduring difficult moments rather than acting impulsively, avoiding the feeling, or engaging in destructive behaviors to escape the pain.

Why It Matters

Prevents Escalation: Stops you from making impulsive decisions (like lashing out or giving up) when overwhelmed.

Builds Resilience: Allows you to sit with painful feelings, knowing they are temporary and manageable.

It is designed to help individuals navigate crises without resorting to unhealthy coping mechanisms like substance abuse, self-harm or violence.

Key Distress Tolerance Skills

When you cannot immediately change or fix a stressful situation, these strategies help you survive the intense emotion:

TIPP Skill: A quick physiological reset using Temperature (like a cold plunge), Intense exercise, Paced breathing, and Paired muscle relaxation to reduce immediate emotional flooding.

Distraction: Using temporary diversions (like doing a puzzle, calling a friend, or helping others) to take your mind off the distressing emotion.

Self-Soothing: Comforting your five senses (e.g., listening to calming music, looking at beautiful art, wrapping yourself in a warm blanket) to soothe your nervous system.

Radical Acceptance: Acknowledging the facts of a painful situation without judgment or fighting against it, which reduces prolonged suffering.


My Personal Experiences:

Okay, so I gotta be real here; I still have a hard time with the "TIPP" skill, especially accepting the "temperature change" part. I always worry it'll just freeze my anxiety in place and intense exercise might just make me more stressed. But self-soothing and radical acceptance? I'm totally on board with those. Its all in what works for you. I would suggest using caution, though. If it doesn't feel right in the moment take a few calming deep breaths and try to focus on another one of the four reset (TIPP)techniques. 

It takes time, effort and practice to master these skill so that they are habit. It took me years to get to where I'm at and I still have a ways to go. But to be completely transparent, I usually use these techniques when I'm in considerable stress or my mental illness is in crisis. Not "911" crisis, just a rough frame of mind and the body responses that go along with it. It especially helps when I'm vulnerable to behaviors like excessive spending or "falsely justifiable purchasing" or even when I have the urge( even when it feels like "need") to ma,e poor food choices. 😇🤣

When my emotions are super high, I often listen to music from the 60s and 70s. It grounds me with the musical stimulation. I also scroll through Facebook for music and art posts. Throwing on a hoodie and sometimes even a blanket (I guess that's kind of a "temperature change" in its own way) tends to do the trick. By the time I get to the hoodie, my emotions have usually calmed down to gentle waves. Sometimes I just go straight for the hoodie – it's my "safety cloak"! 🫠

If all else fails, I journal. I can always write about my feelings and fears. When I started jkurnalling i would truggle with what to write sbout. Then after a few days it became easy because I just did freewriting.(you just write exactly what your thinking at the moment) I try to do a journal entry every morning. The cool thing about journaling is that nobody has to see it, and you can explore your feelings in a safe, detached way. I constantly process my anger through my journal, and I think it sometimes restores my sanity!

Ok, let's stop for now.  If you find you are in crisis and you think that you are going to harm yourself(or others), PLEASE CALL "988" IMMEDIATELY. You are worth it and deserve help. If you want more information about DBT, check this website out: DBT website . Thanks for reading my rambles. Have a great rest of your week.
Tina

(Please, please, please share these links with everyone!!!)


Thank you.

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