3 things I've learned this year

 

Hey friends,

After 61 years, I've learned a few things about life. For example, I remember how, as a young person, I had that "superman" type of mentality, often thinking I was indestructible. I would balk at routine things like dental or doctors checkups, saying "I feel fine." I was so naive back then. Now, I have so many different doctors appointments, I lose track of who I'm seeing next!

Another thing 61 years has taught me is that there's no point in constantly punishing myself for past bad choices. What's done is in the past and no matter how hard I try, I cannot bring it back to "fix". Besides, I would be a different person now and I'm kinda enjoying the person I've become today. With all my dents and dings, I didn't turn out half bad.

I need to focus on now and what's ahead. The past is over, and I can't change it. Honestly, I did my best back then with what I knew and had.

We made some wild choices when we were young for a reason—our brains weren't fully developed yet. (Our emotional center, the amygdala, develops faster than the rational part, the prefrontal cortex, which isn't fully mature until our mid-to-late 20s.) We were running on emotions, with sense and reason sometimes taking a backseat. That's why our lives were so dramatic. At least, that was my experience.

Anyway, back to what I was doing. Three things I learned this year. Besides the new health info I got (not all good 🫣), first, I realized that in relationships, if I want to be happy, sometimes I have to let go of always being "right."

Sometimes being happy means allowing for grace. I needed to practice self-compassion, letting go of perfectionism, and forgiving myself and others for inevitable mistakes, both past and present. It was a concept that was a long time coming. I had to be ready emotionally, intellectually and I had to be willing. The last didn't catch up to the first two until much later!

Okay, so the second thing I realized about myself (because, let's be real, I can only change myself) is that I need to figure out how to get rid of my fear. It was stopping me from being happy and moving forward in important parts of my life. I noticed that old ways of thinking would sneak in when I was most scared of change, especially when it was something new and unknown in my life.

Alright, I'm being completely honest here. I have a big adventure ahead, and I need to "pull up my big girl panties" and just go for it. I need a kidney transplant, and it's not going to be easy or smooth. There will be good times and bad times, and it'll probably be a tough fight, but trust me, I'M GOING TO WIN!

The third thing on my list I already knew, but it popped into my head the other day when I was writing about "free" internet services. So many people (and companies) claim to be one thing, but they're totally not. Like companies that say they want to help customers get started with a program or business, but really they just want your money and to do as little as possible.

Now, I'm not saying ALL companies do this, but a lot of them do, I've looked into it. I get that it's all about making money. But do they have to take advantage of regular folks while doing it? This is just my opinion, and I could be totally wrong here, but in some ways, I don't really think so.

That's where that saying (and my 3rd learned thing) comes in. "If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it must be a duck." -James Whitcomb Riley. (This famous saying—often called the "Duck Test"—means we should trust what we see and use common sense to figure things out based on how they act and look, even if someone tries to tell us otherwise.)

So, here's what I found about self-realization:

It's basically a lifelong journey of shedding outside expectations, fears, and assumed identities to figure out who you really are. Its not a real actualization(in my opinion). It's not about becoming a whole new person, but more about unlearning old habits so you can live in line with your core values and potential.

Some simple, practical things about this journey include:

It's an Unlearning Process: Think of it like a statue hidden in a block of stone. You don't need to add anything new; you just need to chip away the outer layers (what society, family, or your ego tell you you should be) to reveal your true self.

It Means Being Radically Honest: You can't truly find your authentic self without being real about your flaws, fears, and biases. A big step in this journey is accepting your messy parts so you can work on them.

It's About the "Why": A self-realized person understands why they do what they do. Instead of just reacting to life on autopilot—driven by impulses or momentary emotions—you learn to observe your feelings and make conscious choices.

It Provides a Wider Perspective: It leads to the realization that you're connected to everything around you. It shifts a person from a strictly "me-centered" mindset to a more empathetic and "we-centered" approach to life.

It Focuses on the Inside: It's realizing that lasting happiness and contentment can't be bought or found in external things, but come naturally from living authentically.

You can read more about the practical benefits of aligning with your true potential in this breakdown on Discovering Your True Self, or explore the day-to-day signs of personal growth on Verywell Mind.

That's all I've got for you in this post. I hope it helped someone today. I'm looking forward to our next post and what it brings. Until then, have a great rest of your week. 

Tina

My quote for the day:

"So many people inspire me to be nothing like them."

 - unknown

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