Coffee, Chaos and Clarity

By TinaMarie Cerreta

Today's Free Writing Post:

Musings of a Free Flowing Mind

Hey There Friends!

How's everyone doing today? I'm really struggling with some restless leg syndrome right now. I get it sometimes and take medicine twice a day to keep it from happening regularly. It's connected to my diabetic neuropathy and nerve damage in my left foot, and it usually acts up early in the day or right after I go to bed.

I have dialysis today. I really hope this leg calms down for the treatment, otherwise I'm going to be so uncomfortable. It seems like it's settled a bit. Has anyone else dealt with something similar? I'd love to hear about it. You can always email me if you want to chat more privately.

I'm really nervous about a procedure I'm having this coming Monday. I'm prepared, but I had a bad experience in the past.
 They offered to sedate me, but I told them that I would need to be unconscious in order to get back in there.

Then, they called me last night to give me directions to prepare for the procedure. I have to fast 4 hours prior to the procedure.  No jewelry. My P.A. is coming with me, the whole time! We are bringing our electronics and lunch to have when we get to dialysis. 

Okay, so I know this isn't the same since this one's about my pancreas. I've got a dark spot on a cyst there, and the transplant team wants to make sure it's not cancer, pre-cancerous, or going to mess with other organs nearby. So basically, I gotta get it taken care of or I can't move forward with the pre-screening for the deceased kidney transplant list.
(7am) I'm still looking for a living donor. I just put out a social media post to everyone on my tag list (they're probably sick of my stuff already! 😂) and even sent a general one all in Spanish. I have no idea what it actually says. I just assumed it was the same as the English one. Knowing my luck, I'll get a bunch of Spanish emails I'll have to translate. But I don't care... whatever it takes.

I sent out a mass email to everyone in my address book. Some people are going to think I'm crazy or wonder who I am. They probably won't remember me. But that's okay. I just want to get my message out there and maybe some people will forward the email or posts. 

(9:30am) I'm finally at dialysis and hooked up. So now it's a 3.5 hour treatment and a 15-20 minute close up. Thank heavens for wifi. The center has it so I'm not bored the whole time. It actually goes by pretty swiftly since my mind is occupied.

I wish this was a chat room so I could get some firsthand advice about this upcoming procedure. I'd love to know how other people deal with the anxiety it causes. I did get some suggestions from the social worker here at DCI, inc in Hawthorne, NY.
She suggested I have a blanket and ask for music. She also suggested I ask the technician if they could talk me through the process in shorter time increments. Then she said to ask if they have to put my body all the way in the tube. I don't know if they'll accommodate all of that, but I'll give it a shot. I will have my own blanket.

My psychiatrist told me not to be a hero and take the sedative if it's an option. She said it's way better to be calm during the procedure than to have a panic attack in the tube. She's right.

I think that's enough extra talking for one post. I hope the rest of your weekend is calm and peaceful.
Tina

My quote for you:
“Be still like a mountain and flow like a great river.” — Lao Tzu

Thank you for reading my posts.

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