How I Got Where I Am Today(ESRD)

By TinaMarie Cerreta


Hello Everyone!

Today's a good day for me. My head's clear and I've got plenty of energy, so I decided to do this freestyle blog post. Hope you don't mind the break from my usual "infomercial" blogging! 😁

Some days, my life feels totally on track, like I'm really moving forward. Then someone (usually me!) messes it all up, and I'm left trying to pick up the pieces and find the bright side. It's really disheartening when you realize that what you have right now is as good as it gets (for the moment, anyway).


So, if you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about what happened when I was younger, before my life really got better. Oh, don't get me wrong, I sang and taught and loved every minute of it. In those ways my life was full and rewarding and highly structured. Somehow, when I was performing or teaching, I'd thrive. It was the rest of my life that was a mess.
It's no secret I lived a pretty reckless and careless life from my mid-teens through my 30s. That was before I was diagnosed bipolar 2 (for the final time) and found I had generalized anxiety and it was untreated. I wish I could say things got better once I started meds, but that'd be a lie.


I just kind of wandered aimlessly for a couple of decades. It didn't help that it took until my early 40s before I was on the right combination of medication for my body. It was a long slow, process of elimination of meds and I wasn't the most compliant patient.
Then my diabetes went haywire, and protein started spilling into my urine. In 2017, my doctors diagnosed me with ESRD Stage 2. Time to see a nephrologist. Ironically enough, this still didn't get me to wake-up to face my disease.

I made really poor choices and as a result, did some major damage to my body. I take full responsibility for what has happened to my body as a result of my actions. Doctors warned me that I could be doing unnecessary damage to my body with the lifestyle I was leading.


But I had that youthful "invincibility" mentality, and of course, it needed to be unrefutable and life-changing for it to happen. And boy, did it happen. I finally hit stage 4 in ESRD (End-Stage Renal Disease), and I couldn't pull the proverbial wool over my eyes anymore. Reality had slapped me right in the head.


So, I pulled up my "big girl panties" and got with the program. The first thing I did was start losing weight. I was well over 340lbs at that point. So far I've lost a total of 211lbs. It blows my mind that I've lost the equivalent of 2 small adults! Then I had to get my blood-sugar under control because along with my high blood pressure, they are the main causes for ESRD.


So, I started taking a GLP-1 (then after a year, I switched to a different one). Within a year my blood sugar was in better shape and I was still losing weight. (CAUTION: If you're taking a GLP-1, make sure you exercise to keep up your muscle mass-especially in your legs!! That is what you lose when you're dropping the weight.) Now, I'm off long acting insulin completely and I only take 1.5-3 units of quick acting insulin in the late afternoons. My Ha1c is 5.2!!!

Unfortunately, by this time it was too late for my kidneys. I did all that damage for so long that it was irreversible. Now I go to dialysis 3 times a week and have both fluid and dietary restrictions. I had to make some huge adjustments in my life and my life depended on it.

It's not all bad, though. My diabetic retinopathy means I can't drive, so I'm pretty limited in what I can do. But while that would keep me stuck at home, dialysis actually gives me this awesome group of friends who totally get it. We already have so much in common. We really push each other, in our own ways. It literally gets me out of the house for several hours, three times a week, when I'd otherwise just be cooped up at home.

Because of the weight loss and these new friends, I'm actually posting pictures of myself on Facebook, blogging on my own site, and chatting with family and old friends I haven't seen in ages. All this just because I decided to live and not let this disease (ESRD) take me down.


I hope my sharing helps or teaches you something, even a little. Maybe it'll even make you think about getting tested to donate a kidney. Whatever happens, I hope you'll pass the message on to someone else. Have a great rest of your week.

My quote for you:

"Live out loud, and don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." — Unknown


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Thank you for reading my posts.

It's Over


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