When your brain likes to scream "DANGER!"

"Imagine driving toward your dream destination, but your anxiety, self-doubt, and that embarrassing memory from 2012 are screaming at you from the back seat. ACT teaches you how to keep driving while they yell—instead of pulling over to fight them."

ACT is a mindfulness-based approach that helps you accept what you can't control while taking action to improve your life. Instead of trying to get rid of negative thoughts, it teaches you to observe them without reacting, aligning your daily actions with your core personal values. 

It's built around three main steps: 

Open Up: Accept difficult emotions and thoughts rather than fighting or avoiding them. (They are still yours.)

Be Present: Pay attention to the "here and now" with an open, curious mind. (Use all your senses: sight, touch, smell and taste)

Do What Matters: Take active steps toward behaviors that align with your true values, even when fear or discomfort is present. (It means choosing a behavior that aligns with who you want to be, rather than avoiding what feels uncomfortable.) [1, 2, 3, 4]

(A cornerstone of this therapy is learning "Psychological Flexibility"—the ability to stay in the present moment, adapt to situations, and persist or change behaviors to serve your long-term goals.)

• The Monster in the Room: "Think of your negative thoughts like that weird houseguest who refuses to leave. ACT doesn't teach you how to kick them out; it teaches you how to drink tea and have a decent conversation with them anyway."

Here's how it works: Think of quicksand. Your first thought is to fight it, but that just makes you sink quicker. In therapy, that quicksand is like the anxiety, grief, or trauma we all deal with. The only way out is to stop fighting, lie flat, and let the sand hold you up. ACT is kind of like that, it helps you stop battling your own mind so you can actually move on.

ACT's 6 Core Pillars:

(ACT helps you become more psychologically flexible—meaning you can be fully present and handle life's challenges better)

Acceptance: Stop fighting your tough feelings and just let them be there without letting them control your life.

Defusion: Learn to "step back" from your thoughts. Instead of thinking “I'm a failure,” you learn to just notice the thought, like “I'm having the thought that I'm a failure.”

Being Present: Focus your attention on right now instead of dwelling on past regrets or worrying about the future.

The Observing Self: Realize that the "you" experiencing the thoughts is different from the thoughts themselves. Imagine your mind is the sky, and your thoughts are like clouds passing by.

Values: Figure out what truly matters to you deep down (like being a good friend, being creative, or being healthy).

Committed Action: Take real, practical steps towards the life you want to live, guided by those values, even when it feels uncomfortable.

Why It's Different:

Regular therapies usually focus on changing your thoughts (like figuring out why a thought is silly and swapping it for a good one). ACT, though, helps you change how you relate to your thoughts so they don't control you anymore.

Want to learn more?

Lots of folks use ACT workbooks to start using these ideas on their own.

Some great books for everyday people are: The Happiness Trap by Dr. Russ Harris or Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life by Dr. Steven Hayes.

If you want to dig deeper, you can find guided workbooks and exercises on the Assoc for Contextual Behavioral Science or check out the beginner modules on the Psychwire ACT for Beginners page.Psychwire ACT for Beginners.

Here's my take:

Honestly, I had a tough time with this kind of therapy. I found it hard to separate my feelings from an observation. It took me ages to look at my feelings like some detached observer.

I totally got the mindfulness part. I kind of could understand the steps individually. But when I tried to put it all together and move forward, I realized I needed to deal with that strong emotion because it was stifling my self-worth and self-esteem. I struggled with the idea of not feeling the emotion.

I guess in a way I thought it would invalidate the emotion.

That's not what happens.

I'm a pretty emotional person, I think it's the musician in me. I used to thrive on "feeling," so when I was told to hold that feeling, I was kind of lost. I didn't get that by isolating the feeling and taking a step back, I could see that sitting in this emotion was actually holding me back from living my best life. It's like it stunted my growth.

So, I took a step back and focused on why I was feeling that way. I started using different words; taking "I AM" out of my sentences. (That phrase is catastrophic thinking)Separating my emotion from my thoughts worked. I could see how that emotion was stopping me. I got unstuck.

I also realized this emotion was from the past that I hadn't let go of yet. It was holding me back, and I needed to move forward. There was light on the horizon! Now, this isn't for the feint of heart. You need to be open and honest with yourself. (I can't stress this enough: I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL. These are just my opinions and interpretations.)

-Tina

My quote for the day:

"Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable." — Fred Rogers [1, 2, 3]

My links:

National Kidney Registry

Tina's personal microsite

Tina's Blog

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Thank you for reading my posts.